Hello all!! I have a story idea that I was originally going to use for a novel, but it would make a great story for an old-timey RPG, like the old JRPGs. What I am going to do is I am going to give you the gist of the story, and what I want to know is if you think it is too convoluted or if the story is too much too full of worn out fantasy tropes. Also if it's familiar or if you find any of it unsavory, let me know.
Anyway, once upon a time, a great goddess created the world with a giant crystal. When she was done, the crystal shattered, but they were still in possession of magical powers. The powers of these crystals were taken by men, but then one day, they simply stopped working and disappeared. Now, years later, the crystals have reappeared and an evil witch has come to a clueless king to take over his kingdom and find one crystal in particular. The king is killed and his son takes his place, but the son is under the control of the witch. The crystal is found by a young boy who is the son of one of the former king's great generals. When the witch comes after the boy, it is the duty of the boy's elder brother to protect him and try to escape with him. With the help of a mysterious stranger named Vero, the two boys escape and come to an underground haven ruled by the dwarves. There Vero forces them to spend money on a slave boy named Soji to save him from his dwarf captors. They are forced to run from this place as well as they are attacked by the witches men. They run to the town of Hara where they meet a young woman named Miranda who is trying to fight against the witch. When she is killed by a traitor, she tells the older of the boys, Salis, that he must take over. He agrees and Vero knows where to take them. To Henden, the brother of the fallen Miranda who knows his way around strategy. They procure a base, but Henden tells them that they must go see the good witch Eve. She lives atop a mountain and sees most things that have, are, and will happen. She says that only Salis and his brother Kail with the crystal of banishment can win the coming war. With that, they are sent on their way, and they meet the blind girl Evelyn who can see people's aura's and is led around by her mute brother, Eric. However Eric is killed by a lowly assassin, and when they get back to the castle, they hand Evelyn over to Soji who literally has to drag her around the castle and do his work at the same time. Vero, Salis, and Kail are off to the forest realm to gather the people of the forest under their banner. They are attacked by denizens of the forest, but finally make it to the forest center where they sound the horn and call the people of the forest to them. The Berrik (Bear) people, the Tanuki (racoon dog) people, the wolf clan, the Raven Clan and the elven half brothers Ryun and Rillion come to their call. They say they will not help unless the three men help them free their people from slavery. The three go to help the people, but are faced with a huge troll. They attack anyway, but they are saved by Rachel and Rick, bomb wielding brother and sister cowboy types. In the end, good triumphs over evil, and the forest clans agree to join the three. However the situation with the elves is different, and their queen says they will not join. Ryun and Rillion defy her and go anyway.
That far that is what I have. How does it sound to you? Like a good story for an RPG? In all truth, I don't really like games with huge branching story lines, and I hate sandboxish stuff, however I do like a large linear story with a beautiful world. Does this sound like something you would play thus far? It is going to be a lot bigger, and I may add more later, but thus far, what do you think? Be as honest as you can, and let me know. If it is not cool, that will be good to know. Anyway, thanks a lot. And this isn't even the end of it. Cheers!!